First Lady Mary Todd Lincoln

Mary Lincoln in an 1861 carte de visite by photographer Matthew Brady / Library of Congress

Mary Todd Lincoln (1818-1882) was born into an influential and politically well-connected Kentucky family in Lexington. The Todds were among a handful of elite families in the state that sought to create a citadel of civilization on the frontier, and Mary’s upbringing reflected these values. The family, who played an integral role in the creation of Transylvania University, made sure that Mary received a solid education. Rare among women of her time, Mary Todd attained nearly ten years of schooling, was fluent in French, and rounded out six years of study at Shelby Female Academy, with four more years at Madame Charlotte Mentelle’s boarding school. Her academic background instilled in Mary poise that would become one of the hallmark characteristics of her personality. At age fourteen she would dine alongside close family friend and presidential candidate Henry Clay and claim that she, too, fully expected to live in Washington in the future.

Abraham Lincoln considered Henry Clay a political idol, but it was only following his marriage to Mary Todd that he had an opportunity to meet Clay in person. This was at a political meeting organized by Mary’s father in Lexington, while Lincoln was in route to Washington as Congressman-elect in 1847. Socio-economically Abraham and Mary were of two different worlds. Both, however, found a shared interest in politics and intellectual pursuits, which in great part explains their mutual attraction to one another.

The two were also shaped by slavery. In Mary’s case, she experienced the institution firsthand as the Todds were slaveholders. This background—and the enlistment of some of the Todds in the Confederate Army—would fuel speculation that Mary was secretly sympathetic to the South during the war. The Todds, however, remained divided over the issue of slavery, and Mary was among the Todds that opposed the institution. Throughout the Civil War, Mary Lincoln increasingly demonstrated concern for freedmen. She cultivated close personal relationships with African American women such as Mary Dines and Elizabeth Keckly. Mary likewise gave money and gifts to the burgeoning freedom villages where fugitive slaves sought refuge in and around Washington, and encouraged her husband to do the same.

 

Hand-tinted lithograph of the Lincoln Family in 1861 based on a painting by Francis Carpenter, 1873. Wilie, who died in 1862, is seated, Robert stands behind and Tad, the youngest, is next to the president/ Frank and Virginia Williams Collection of Lincolniana, Mississippi State University Libraries

Mary Lincoln’s projects to refurbish the White House created a headache for Abraham Lincoln and members of his administration. In fairness, previous administrations had not spent much on the upkeep of the “Executive Mansion” and so many of the rooms featured threadbare and poor conditions. But Mary’s zeal for furnishing the White House with more up-to-date décor garnered unwelcome attention, which exposed the Lincolns to ridicule in the press and among the public. Her trips north to survey potential new materials for the White House were anywhere from two to four months long and were costly. Abraham Lincoln covered some of these expenses out of his own pocket, and Congress, too, eventually authorized two additional expenditures to cover part of Mary’s purchases.

The all-consuming nature of the Civil War took a toll on Lincoln’s presidency and the relationship between Mary and Abraham. In the days and hours before the fateful assassination at Ford’s Theatre, there was evidence of a new intimacy between the two. Hours before the evening engagement at Ford’s, the Lincolns took a carriage ride together through Washington, D.C. Opening up to Mary that day, Abraham acknowledged that “between the war and the loss of our darling Willie—we have both been very miserable.” They turned to the future on their carriage ride together, as Abraham Lincoln talked of plans to voyage abroad to Europe, and even to travel out to the Pacific Coast to see California. These hopes would be tragically cut short.

Historically, Mary has been harshly evaluated by many writers. In recent decades, more nuanced portrayals of Mary Lincoln have emerged. Both Lincolns suffered following the deaths of their children, Eddie and Willie. Mary, however, was never quite the same again following the deaths of her first two sons. It is clear the strictures of 19^th century American society, and the very public role of first lady in this era, did not permit Mary the time and space to grieve in the way modern first families might be allowed. She could be strong-willed, mercurial, and outspoken, and these were traits that were not appreciated in the period in which she lived. The added weight of the deaths of Abraham Lincoln on April 15, 1865, and the death of her son, Tad, in July 1871, were immense burdens on Mary.

The complexity of the relationship between Abraham and Mary Lincoln will continue to intrigue the public. The partnership between the two shaped a political career and influenced the course of the Civil War. Perhaps, too pronounced of a focus on Mary’s shortcomings obscures an opportunity for us to assess what the two saw in each other. As Lincoln historian Kenneth J. Winkle aptly writes of Abraham and Mary, “. . . what a fascinating and enigmatic marriage they forged in undertaking it.”